MY RECENT EGO DEATH (Granny's ties)

The world loves placing us into tiny, polarized boxes: good or bad, soft or tough, feminine or masculine.

For five years, Granny Todu has lived somewhere between these extremes, working in corporate rooms full of deep, testosteroned voices and monochromatic ties.

I’ve sat at tables where I was “sweethearted” and “honeyed” instead of heard, perceived, and respected as a professional.

I blamed it all on the ties, and secretly, I envied them. I’d watch those “serious” men hang onto their ties like a secret source of power — a permission to take up space.

I wanted that permission too. And when I didn’t receive it, I crocheted my own.

Inspired by Lorde’s brilliant song “Man of the Year,” this collection represents an “ego death”: the deconstruction of the self in order to rebuild a truer identity.

These ties became a bridge I crocheted for myself — a way to walk freely between femininity and masculinity and explore all the gradations, tones, and versions of me existing in between.

→ Read the Manifesto of My Ego Death here.